Down The Rabbit Hole

 

Miss me?

I’ve attempted a few times to write a blog post in the weeks (months?) since my last visit. Each time, I just get completely overwhelmed and say screw it. I don’t know where my blog will go from here, I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I felt the need to stop in with an update.

Things are not going well. There have been some dates that I had a hard time with, there is an event coming up I’m going to have a hard time with and basically I feel like my support system is slowly crumbling, piece by piece. Getting out of bed every day is a challenge, never mind trying to add blog posts to my day.

Enough boo hoo shit. I’m tired of talking about my feelings, which I’m told on an almost weekly basis that I’m “allowed to feel” by my therapist. Grrrrreat. They feel awesome.

So what have I been up to?

I went to VT for the Infinitus trail race. Since I was injured (shocking, I know), I rucked the 8K with two friends instead of running it. It was a serious trail – real steep inclines and declines, some crazy bushwhacking and challenging terrain. When I finished, I hung out at base camp and watched all the crazy ultra people come in and out as they ran mile after mile. It was a cool environment to be around.

 

 

 

I ran the Gaspee Days 5K again – one of only 2 races that I’ve run every year since I started.

 

 

I’ve done another Carry the Fallen ruck march – this one in Plymouth because we were moved out of Boston at the last minute for Pride. It actually turned out to be a nice change.

 

 

 

 

I attempted my first GORUCK Challenge. The Light I did last year was almost 4.5 hours. A Challenge is normally around 12 hours. The DAY BEFORE the event, I found out I had a rib subluxation and possible rotator cuff tear. I attempted it anyway. I lasted 45 minutes into the Welcome Party and had to medically withdraw. I was devastated and still am. I feel like a quitter. I am so, so proud of my girls though. They all finished and were amazing.

 

 

Shadow Squad

 

 

I’ve shadowed some GORUCKs, including the one I should have been taking part in. I have a passion for it. I really enjoy taking pictures, and being out there, watching my friends embrace the suck inspires me. There is something about walking through a city at zero dark thirty, when everything is still, that’s beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

I tagged along in the pouring rain to the Spartan Super to cheer on my friends and had a lot of fun, even completely soaked.

 

 

We attended my cousin’s bridal shower and I got to see my family.

 

 

 

I spent a fabulous day with some friends at a gorgeous lake and just enjoyed being outside in nature.

 

 

We celebrated the 4^th of July at our house with a cookout with friends. We had so much fun, there really aren’t any pictures (besides one I’m not sure should be shared lol). It was a really good day. A really, really good day. One that I wish I could bottle for the bad days.

I hit a slump in training, eating right, basically anything healthy. I completely self-sabotaged. I’m trying to fix it. I’m doing the best I can for now. I feel like I have more to say, but no words to say it, so I’ll end here for today.

See you when I see you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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